dimanche 12 février 2012

Lisette Torgnolle veut interdire le mot "facile".





Humiliée par un sachet de gruyère, la Lisette. Et pas que.
Mais qu’est-ce qu’y z’ont tous, les paquets de bouffe, à m’signifier tous les jours que moi, Lisette Torgnolle, je sais pas faire un truc FACILE !?
Y’a des « ouverture facile » partout et même la boîte de thon est plus intelligente que moi ? Non mais non mais CA VA PAS LA TETE OU QUOI ?!
C’est quoi moi, Lisette, j’ai remarqué que ce phénomène du tout-est-facile, y touche pas que les ouvertures de paquet. Y touche TOUT. Et y’en a marre.
Partout partout, y’a écrit que tout est facile.
Perdre 5 kilos tout de suite sans effort : facile.
Se faire l’œil charbonneux en deux coups de pinceaux : facile.
Se faire un look kitue avec un accessoire de riendutout : facile.
Se faire des vacances fivestars avec 2 euros : facile.
Redécorer tout son intérieur avec 1 sticker : facile.
Monter 3 meubles en kit : facile.
Trouver l’âme sœur en 2 clics : facile.
Elever des enfants parfaits : facile.
Se faire augmenter : facile.
Créer un site en 3 clics : facile.
Synchroniser ses 15 comptes virtuels : facile.
Changer de vie : facile.
Même que c’est pervers pour les gens qui y arrivent, à changer de vie facile : puisque c’est si facile, c’est même pas une victoire quand t’y arrives. C’est la société du te-réjouis-pas-trop. C’est trop.
Partout. Tout. Est. Facile. Y s’y mettent tous, dans les magazines les livres mode-d’emploi, les interviews de gens-connus, les pubs, les conseils d’amis, tous tous TOUS y disent FACILE.  Y’en a même qui font la moue et disent FASTOCHE.
Comment ça s’fait que t’y arrives pas Lisette ? C’est pourtant FACILE c’est bizarre que t’y arrives pas Lisette passeke tout le monde y arrive EN GENERAL.
Tous y cherchent à humilier la Lisette, à faire calmos aux ardeurs de ceux-qu’y-z’y-arrivent.
Parce que Lisette elle sait pas faire, Lisette elle en a marre, Lisette elle croit que y’a des trucs passifaciles. Et que c’est pas sympa-sympa de faire croire le contraire.
Que y’a des gens, y sont pas tous formatés pareils. Que moi, Lisette Torgnolle, y’a des trucs très très difficiles pour les autres que moi, je fais facile. EH BEN JE VAIS PAS LEUR DIRE QU’Y SONT CONS DE PAS Y ARRIVER.
Il est dit que Lisette Torgnolle va facilement devenir ministre de l’intériorité et faire supprimer le mot « facile » du dictionnaire.
Il est dit que Lisette Torgnolle elle va péter un boulon, sinon. Et que bon, revisser un boulon dans la tête, c’est pas un truc facile-facile à faire, alors conclusion : vaut mieux qu’y pète pas, le boulon.
Il est dit que Lisette Torgnolle, en attendant, va arpenter les rayons des supermarchés et les librairies avec un gros feutre pour remplacer le mot « facile » par « peut-être ».
Sur le sachet de gruyère : « ouverture peut-être ».
Maigrir peut-être, Montez peut-être votre étagère, Faites-vous peut-être augmenter, ainsi de suite.
Et peut-être, ça va faire que quand on réussit un truc, ça en fait une vraie victoire. Pas un truc normal que tout le monde fait en général.
On pourra se réjouir de nos réussites quotidiennes. Et ça, c’est peut-être à inclure dans le programme présidentiel.

Signé Lisette Torgnolle.


39 commentaires:

jicky a dit…

en fait, sur ces paquets de gruyère (ou de parmesan d'ailleurs) ils devraient plutôt indiquer "refermeture difficile (voire: impossible)"
Car c'est ça, que sous entend, en fait "ouverture facile". Le paquet qu'on ne peut plus refermer!

paristempslibre a dit…

oh oui !!!!!! rien n'est facile, rien n'est acquis
bisous

Stéphanie a dit…

C'est vrai, rien n'est facile !

Yelle a dit…

La vie non plus n'est pas facile. Mais quel bonheur de constater que nos petites actions et tentatives pour la rendre belle sont autant de victoires bien méritées lorsqu'elles aboutissent ! Bisous bisous !

Sylvie, enfin moi a dit…

Si c'était facile quel plaisir nous prendrions à constater nos petits succés.
Le problème comme tu le dis si bien , est que la société ne veut que du FACILE, pas d'efforts, pas de travail...
Le mythe de "Ma sorcière bien aimée"....
Bisous, oui je sais FACILE

Anonyme a dit…

De Lisette à Lili il n'a que quelques lettres, je me targue u peu de comprendre Miss Torgnole.
Pour vulgariser ;
Si le gruyère est en guerre, la mimolette reste chouette !
Si t'as oublié le tire bouchon, le champagne, c'est trop bon !
Un peu simplet, m'enfin ....
Merci pour tes mots et bisous.

Chib a dit…

En general les paquets 'facile' je les attaques au couteau (non je ne suis pas violente .

Bonne Saint Lamentin Lisette !

isabelle a dit…

Moi non plus je ne sais pas ouvrir le sachet "facile" sans en répandre le contenu par terre.

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